1- The heart felt gift of "Thank You, Mom" means a great deal. Too often we forget that Moms are people too! If you love her, if you appreciate her – let her know!
2- The gift of time is priceless. Time with Mom. Time for Mom. It remains true that Mom still enjoys it when you invite her out for tea or coffee or a “girls day” for just you two!
3- Sometimes, it really is "the thought that counts," providing the thought is genuine. But don't fake it. She is likely to know.
4- Mothers have the right to say no - even to their children. Part of a parent’s job is to teach her child boundary skills, frustration tolerance, self-sufficiency and more. She will fail at all of these if the only way she answers you is with a string of never ending “yes”.
5- Be mindful that every mother and every child does not necessarily approach Mother’s Day with joy – do not forget those who may experience it with sadness. Whether it is a physical or emotional loss – those who experience the loss of mother are sad – be gentle.
6-Mothers have feelings – just like you do. Too many times we can forget this. Don’t.
7-Mothers are not perfect. You are not perfect. She is not perfect. You will both do better when you both accept this fact.
8- Your mother’s “job” in your life appropriately changes as you mature. This is as it should be. Be mindful that she too, has a life.
9- Your mother does not owe you her life. Don’t ask for it. Don’t demand it.
10- You do not owe your mother your life. Don’t offer it. Keep your own life, yours.
MYTHS ABOUT MOTHERS
1- They are superwomen. This myth harms everyone when she tries to be a superwoman.
2- Flowers/candy are the only "perfect Mother's Day gift." Be creative! Give her a housekeeper for a day. Treat her to a meal for her and her date. How about a day of beauty? Think creatively – you can do it!
3- Single mothers should not date. Single mothers deserve a break and to date – when they are ready. If they choose.
4- Divorced mothers should not date. Divorced mothers deserve a break and to date – when they are ready. If they choose.
5- Gay mothers should not date. A mom is a mom is a mom. She deserves a life.
6 - Mothers are “only” mothers and nothing else. Ho-hum. Boring. Mothers can and should allow themselves to experience the fullness of life. This is healthy for Mom and good role modeling for the child.
7-Mother’s don’t have feelings – you can say whatever you like to your Mom. Not true. Your mother is not made of stone.
8- Your mother “owes” you. You have a right to grow up safe and loved. She “owes” you that - in whatever way she can provide it. She does not owe you money for the rest of your life, or childcare for the rest of hers.
9- Your mother will “understand” or “know” – even if you don’t tell her. She is not a mind reader.
10- You HAVE to like your mother – no matter what. If your mother has treated you abusively – it will be hard for you to life her. But try to let yourself know that she likely did the best she could – with what she had – even if for you, it was not enough.