Couples under Stress
COUPLES UNDER STRESS
SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE TAKING YOUR STRESS OUT ON SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT:
Increased agitation
Increased arguments
Increased emotional outbursts
Short-tempered
Impatient
Abusive behavior increases
Increased used of substances
Attempts to control others
Forgetting conversations
Distracted conversations
WHAT’S GOING ON?
It is human and difficult to tolerate sustained tension.
It is difficult to manage the ongoing sense of being unsure and unsafe.
You may be experiencing increased intolerance from others, which decreases your tolerance for others. You may unwittingly find yourself taking your frustration out on those in your intimate circles.
The more helpless you feel – the more anger and sadness you may experience.
If you have trauma or chaos in your history, those conscious and unconscious memories may be superimposed on your current reactions making your current reactions larger than you understand.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Acknowledge the unacceptable behavior to yourself and your partner.
Acknowledge to yourself and your partner that it may be your fears that are driving your unacceptable behavior.
Talk with your partner about your concerns/fears.
Consider realistically – those things over which you have control and those you do not… (e.g. you can not change the current political climate as a whole, but you may be able to volunteer with groups who are responding to the crisis in a way that appeals to you).
Talk to your partner and listen to your partner. Learn to tolerate hearing and talking about the varying emotions you both have.
You may choose to seek professional help if you are experiencing flashbacks or other post traumatic stress symptoms or your current reactions are negatively affecting your relationships right now.
Work with your partner to help you both identify signs of growing difficulty – and specific things you can do to reduce your stress.