"Making It Make Sense" (SM) with Dr. Pamela Brewer
HOLIDAY BLUES...
... DON'T HAVE TO BE
The holidays can be a time when depression strikes and feels all the more difficult to overcome. There are many reasons for this. Holidays are the times you remember a loved one, an event, a moment that had a significant meaning for you. Whether the memory is a happy or unpleasant, the holidays can be a memory trigger.
SOME OF THE SIGNS THAT YOU MAY NOT BE HAVING SIGNIFICANT TROUBLE WITH DEPRESSION
1. Your sadness is limited to less than 2 weeks.
2. You are essentially able to maintain your daily routine.
3. Concentration is reduced, but you are able to complete tasks.
4. You are tearful, but after having a good cry, you can achieve at least some small measure of relief.
5. You may have a hard time reaching out, but when you do, you are able to tolerate healthy help.
6. There are no appreciable changes in personal hygiene skills.
7. You do not have any thoughts of self-harm or harm to others.
WHAT TO DO
Look at your daily routine. Are you trying to do too much? Perhaps you need to build in some play time just for you. Sometimes you would be amazed at how wonderful you feel after giving yourself just an hour from the daily routine. Recognize that occasional bouts of sadness are very human. Try to identify what has led to the sadness. Perhaps there is something that you can do to help yourself feel better. If it is a big decision that needs to be made - do you have to make it now? If it's a huge project you've taken on - do you need to do it all alone? Is there a friend you can call? Are there new friends to be made? Is there a new place to go? Is there a new style you'd like to try? Sometimes a down in the dumps feeling can be lifted with a small change. Try it! The most important thing to remember is that depression is not your fault. You are not bad because you are depressed. You deserve to feel better. There are people who want to help. Let them. Let you.
SOME OF THE SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE HAVING SIGNIFICANT TROUBLE WITH DEPRESSION
1. Pervasive feelings of sadness for more than two weeks.
2. Significant changes in daily productivity.
3. Concentration is significantly reduced.
4. Changes in eating and sleeping habits.
5. Changes in socialization activities.
6. Thoughts about self-harm.
7. Plans to harm yourself.
8. Thoughts about hurting others.
9. Plans to harm others.
10.Increased irritability
11.Chronic physical aches and pains
12.Feelings of guilt and/or hopelessness.
13.Reduced joy.
WHAT TO DO
If you have ANY of these feelings for more than two weeks - get a complete evaluation. You may be suffering from clinical depression. This would not be uncommon, millions of Americans struggle with feelings that are severe enough to warrant a diagnosis of depression. Give yourself some extra care. You are in crisis. Be patient with yourself. Work hard not to be critical or harsh. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and caring. Make your decisions based on the quality of their support; not the labels they wear (e.g. father, sister, cousin, roommate, etc.) Do not take on large or long or complicated tasks. If you have to do something that will take a while, break it up into small tasks that you can accomplish one step at a time. This is not the time to make any decisions that will have lasting impact. Try to determine what you will find helpful this holiday season. DO NOT make plans to spend it alone. DO NOT assume that no one wants to hear from you. DO NOT assume that this feeling will last forever.
RIGHT NOW
1. TELL SOMEONE RIGHT AWAY!
2. GET HELP RIGHT AWAY!
3. YOU CAN CONTACT YOUR FRIEND, YOUR FAMILY MEMBER AND YOU MUST CONTACT A MEDICAL OR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL RIGHT AWAY!
RESOURCES INCLUDE:
NAMI 1-800-950-6264 NMHA 1-800-969-6642
You EAP counselor at work
A licensed mental health professional.
When you are depressed, it is hard to remember the good times, it is hard to remember that much of what you are feeling is clouded by the filter of depression. It is hard to know that there are people who want to help and can help. It is hard to see that you have options. It is hard to put things in smaller chunks so that you can mange your life one step at a time.
If you are experiencing some sadness this holiday season, try to take this time as a way to celebrate and let go of - if necessary, a sad memory, a sad thought, a sad perspective.
For example, if you find yourself missing a loved one - use this time as a way to develop a "ritual" that will honor that life. Perhaps Aunt Sue loved trees - and so your new ritual can be planting a tree each holiday season - a testament to her life and new life. Perhaps you do not like being single - make sure that every holiday season you get together with your single friends (whether you are in a relationship are not) and spend silly, joyful time together - doing something you all enjoy -- just make sure it's silly and fun! Perhaps you are reminded of a pet - let this holiday be the beginning of volunteering at a pet shelter or giving a pet to a child or a senior. Be creative.
You are not alone in your sadness, and you do have many, many options as you work to feel better. And better is what you deserve to feel!
*Do not read any recommended books if you are currently in treatment, without discussing your intentions with your therapist. You therapist will know what books, if any, will be most helpful for you.