You and Your Child
PARENTS AND CHILDREN
DOES YOUR CHILD
NEED TO BE IN THERAPY?
PART 2
QUESTION: What is a state of being in which no matter what you say, do or think, there will be at least one stranger and one friend who will be convinced that you are doing it all wrong?
ANSWER: Being a parent. Being a child.
No matter your age or circumstance, you are someone’s child and may be sometimes parent. In either state, you are walking a challenging path.
If you are running into difficulty with your child, you may find yourself at wit’s end. What is right? What is wrong? There are times when you may well be able to address the issues yourself. There are times when professional intervention may be the best way to go. But how are you to know?
Very often your child’s school will make a suggestion for professional intervention. If they do, don’t simply take the recommendation at face value. Inquire regarding the basis for the recommendation. What specific behaviors need to be addressed? Are there specific provider recommendations that school would like to office.
If someone else makes a recommendation, or expresses a concern, do not automatically dismiss the recommendation as being unreasonable because your child "isn’t like that." If you had a though that your child was "like that" you might well have made the recommendation to yourself months ago! Listen to what is being said, evaluate what is being said, and then make as objective a decision as you can. It’s rare that you can go wrong by taking your child for a professional evaluation -–just to be sure.
Below are listen some of the behaviors that are sure signs that something may be amiss and require professional assistance.
Does your child steal?
Does your child set fires?
Does your child engage in substance use?
Disruptive Behavior
Impulsivity
Difficulties with interpersonal/social relationships:
Preference to play alone
Lack of appropriate reserve with strangers
Attachment/bonding difficulties
Developmental Delays:
Attention/activity regulation
Speech and language acquisition
Play
Motor skills
Academic achievement (if applicable)
Developmental milestones (know age-appropriate goals)
Significant changes in selections of friends or activities
Changes in daily activities
Increased anger
Significant change in school performance
Giving away prized possessions
Talking about feeling separate and apart from the rest of the world, including friends.
If you answered affirmatively to ANY of these questions, consider taking your child for a professional evaluation with a qualified mental health provider. These questions are certainly not exhaustive, and may not be indicative of mental health issues. It is important for you as a parent to be aware of changes in your child’s behaviors or feelings that may trigger the need for a professional assessment. The important issue is that changes occur for a reason, and it is essential that you find out-for your sake, and for the sake of your child.
- If you decide to take your child to see a therapist, make sure of the following:
- The clinician should be licensed and experienced working with children who are similar in age to your child.
- The clinician would want information about the behaviors that concern you and how they are different from usual behavior and if they are different from usual behavior.
- The clinician will want to know about your child's usual and current school and socialization activities.
- You may want to go to the first session or two with a list of questions including how the clinician usually approaches working with children and what if/any immediate recommendations the clinician is able to offer for short-term interventions on your part.