10 Questions
10 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
... ABOUT A NEW RELATIONSHIP...
Use these questions as a starting point to help you determine whether you are about to step into a relationship that is likely to be positive or negative.
1. ARE YOU GIVING YOURSELF TIME TO LEARN YOUR NEW PARTNER?
Time is essential. If you are "in love" in a very short period of time....are you in love with love?
2. DO YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR PARTNER?
If being with your partner leaves you with a feeling of not wanting to be with yourself - there is definitely a problem. Pay attention!
3. DO YOU RESPECT EACH OTHER FOR WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?
If you find yourself saying you would like your partner if only..., you may need to rethink the relationship.
4. DO YOU SHARE SIMILAR VALUES?
Never overlook the importance of having similar values. You do not have to be a carbon copy of each other, but if your values are in conflict, you may be headed for trouble .
5. DO YOU BOTH HAVE YOUR OWN FRIENDS?
DO NOT EVER give up your friends to focus exclusively on your relationship. DO NOT EVER enter into a relationship where giving up your friends is a requirement of the relationship.
6. DO YOU HAVE SIMILAR RELATIONSHIP GOALS?
If you know you are looking for one type of relationship - and your potential partner is looking for another, do not put yourself through the misery of trying to change your partner's mind! Find someone with like goals!
7. IS THE RELATIONSHIP ABLE TO WITHSTAND DISAGREEMENT?
If not - you are in trouble. No relationship is without some disagreement. The trick is to learn to engage in productive disagreements.
8. DO YOU HAVE SIMILAR VIEWS ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS?
This will give you some insight into your partner's views about the value and importance of others. Pay attention!
9. DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER RESPECT EACH OTHER'S DIFFERENCES?
You MUST be in a respectful relationship - and you BOTH must be able to respect each other. Without respect, the relationship is unlikely to be able withstand many challenges.
10. DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS?
Define what your red flags are --- and then pay attention. Always. Do NOT assume that you are wrong or misinterpreting. If something comes up that feels like a red flag, talk with your partner, get more information, and then think honestly - about what you think.