IS IT LOVE?


 

 

OR SHOULD IT BE

 

 

 

 

“LOOK OUT!!”?

 

 

By Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C

 

 

 

COULD BE RIPE FOR HEALTHY LOVE, IF:

 

 

 

1.      You have a lot in common – but neither expects the other to agree on everything.

2.      You are both emotionally and physically available.

3.      You both agree on the type of relationship you would like.

4.      You genuinely like each other.

5.      You have seen some flaws – and it is ok.

6.      You can laugh at yourselves and each other without shame or cruelty.

7.      You can be happy about the connection whether you are apart or together.

8.      You both have the ability to share thoughts and feelings.

9.      You both have the ability to listen to yourselves and each other.

10.  Neither of you feels irrevocably damaged by your own relationship history.

11.  You both had a life before you met which you continue to maintain.

12.  You are BOTH working on the relationship.

13.  You can be yourselves with each other.

14.  You respect yourself and each other.

 

 

COULD BE A “LOOK OUT!” MOMENT IF:

 

 

 

 

1.      Your potential mate is a bundle of extremes.

2.      Either of you have to know each other’s every waking minute/thought.

3.      Your internal red flag- (providing it does not always go off whenever you get within a city block of someone) - is almost screaming at you to run!

4.      IS “in love” and ready to live together forever within 2 weeks of knowing you.

5.      Either of you believe that jealousy is a form of flattery.

6.      Either of you do not see how you have the time to spend time together.

7.      You or your potential mate are, now that you “have a reason”,  just embarking on a significant life change.

8.      Methods of communication are erratic or perhaps a little mysterious.

9.      Either of you is required, by the intensity of the relationship, to give up friends or family connections.

10.  Either of you has an untreated addiction.

11.  Either of you has an untreated psychiatric condition.

12.  You have a basic disregard for your gender or the gender of your partner.

13.  You disrespect yourself.

14.  You or your partners have visions of changing each other.

 

 

 

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© 2008 Pamela B. Brewer MyNDTALK - All Rights Reserved   301.654.5286   MyNDTALK@aol.com